01/8Abusive relationships
When it comes to abuse or disrespect in romantic relationships, our society often assumes that it must be the man’s fault. However, this isn’t true in all the cases and it shouldn’t be generalised. In some cases these days it is seen that it is the woman who is at fault, and sometimes their abusive or toxic behaviour towards their spouse can also lead to the breakdown of their relationship.
From celebrity Chef Kunal Kapoor to Hollywood actor Johhny Depp, here we list down some famous celebrities from across the world who sought a divorce from their wives on the basis of cruelty. Read on to know more.
Photo: Kunal Kapur & Johhny Depp/ Instagram
by TOI Lifestyle Deskreadmore
02/8Kunal Kapur
Popular celebrity Chef Kunal Kapur recently made the headlines– but it wasn’t for his work. This time, the Chef is in the news for finally getting a divorce from his former wife Ekta Kapur on the grounds of cruelty committed by her. The Delhi High Court granted Kunal Kapur a divorce from Ekta, stating that is former wife’s treatment of him lacked respect and empathy.
It is noted that Kunal Kapur, who is known as a ‘Masterchef India’ star, married Ekta in 2008 and in 2012 the former couple had a son together.
Photo: Kunal Kapur/ Instagram
03/8Shikhar Dhawan
Indian cricketer Shikhar Dhawan had a troubled marriage with his former wife Aesha Mukherjee. So much so that in 2023, after being married for over 10 years, Shikhar Dhawan was granted a divorce on the ground of mental cruelty by his former wife by a Delhi Court. As per reports, Shikhar Dhawan’s cited mental cruelty by his former wife as she kept him away from their son Zoraver for years by living in Australia and forcing him to stay in a “long distance marriage”. The Court noted that Aesha didn’t contest the case and so Dhawan’s allegations against her were accepted.
Photo: Shikhar Dhawan/ Instagram
04/8Johnny Depp
Hollywood actors Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s divorce was one that was not only high-profile but also full of drama and accusations.
The actors met in 2009 on the sets of ‘The Rum Diary’ and started dating a few years later, and finally got married in 2015. However, in 2016 Amber Heard filed a divorce against Johnny Depp citing physical abuse by him, which Depp refused. Instead, his Depp alleged Heard of instigating physical violence against him. In 2017 they were granted a divorce. But this was not the end as their relationship issues continued for a few more years. In 2018, Amber Heard wrote an op-ed where she claimed to be a domestic abuse survivor, without naming Depp. Expressing his opposing views, Depp filed a defamation suit against Heard which he later won in 2022 when a jury ruled the case in favour of him. Amber Heard lost the case and was asked to pay $1 million as defamation settlement, which Depp had decided to donate to five charities, as per reports.
Photo: Johnny Depp/ Instagram
05/8 Saif Ali Khan
After 13 years of marriage and two children together, actors Saif Ali Khan and Amrita Singh got divorced mutually in 2004. However, back in 2005, Saif had opened up about his troubled marriage in an interview. Saif told The Telegraph that he had faced domestic abuse in his marriage which took an emotional toll on him. He had also shared that he was persistantly reminded of low worthiness, and had faced taunts and insults. “Let me die of shame. But please don’t kill me with a feeling of constant guilt just because I’ve had the courage to finally walk away from an impossible relationship to find some solace,” he had said in the interview.
Photo: Kareena Kapoor Khan/ Instagram
06/8What is mental cruelty in relationships?
Considering the amount of cases wherein a man seeks divorce from him wife on the basis of cruelty, we asked Priyanka Kapoor- Psychotherapist and a Couple Counsellor, that there’s a fine line between mental cruelty and disrespect in relationships which can be a cause for divorce. So, how would one define it? To this, she replied, “Mental cruelty is not only about disrespect but also about emotional and mental abuse. When you attack the person’s character, self-worth, self-esteem and takes away complete self-love and dignity from the person, and leaves them with guilt, humiliation, trauma, resentment, emptiness, hatred, regrets, helplessness and loneliness– it is mental cruelty. This happens when one lies, manipulates, dominates, blames, gaslights, verbally abuses, discredits or deprives one of emotional, mental, financial, physical, or material support to their partner.
“Disrespect is a byproduct of mental cruelty. Disrespect is about not validating and acknowledging one’s emotions, thoughts, opinions, autonomy, and needs. they are actions and behaviours in which one belittles others, crosses boundaries, violates trust or undermines the partner’s sense of self-worth.”
07/8What should men, who are in abusive marriages, do?
Talking about why it is difficult for men to seek divorce from their wives on the basis of mental cruelty, Priyanka Kapoor- Psychotherapist and a Couple Counsellor, told us, “Men who acknowledge their sensitivity or seek support for emotional abuse or disrespect in their relationships are still stigmatised in many societies. Because males are typically expected to be strong, emotionless, and stoic members of society, it can be difficult for them to recognise and deal with mental cruelty. Also, men are typically expected to be the providers and guardians in relationships due to traditional gender norms. These social norms may be violated by admitting their spouse’s abuse, which could leave them feeling ashamed or less of a man.”
She further added, “Men may be afraid to tell others about the emotional abuse or disrespect they are facing for fear of being judged by society, family, or peers. They can be concerned about coming out as weak or unable to manage their relationships.”
Commenting on what steps should men in such abusive relationships do, she further told us, “Men need to understand that emotional abuse affects people of all genders and can occur to anyone. They ought to become more knowledgeable about emotional and psychological abuse, and they shouldn’t feel guilty about asking for assistance in an honest manner. A toxic relationship lowers one’s self-esteem, which makes it harder for them to recognise their self-worth and makes them fearful of being judged. Therefore, to escape this trap with a strong support network, one should focus on their sense of value, self-love, and self-esteem.”
08/8How to set boundaries with an abusive partner?
Talking about what leads to some women to be abusive towards their partners, Priyanka Kapoor- Psychotherapist and a Couple Counsellor, said, “There are multiple reasons for women to treat their spouse poorly. It can be due to upbringing, past traumas, vulnerability, unresolved conflicts, communication issues, mental health issues or external stressors or personality traits.”
Sharing some tips to set boundaries in such cases, she told us, “Open communication can help with resolving recurring conflicts. Make sure your spouse understands your expectations and boundaries, and emphasise the value of healthy communication and respect for one another in your marriage. Set clear rules and take decisive action to correct any infractions. Make self-care activities that support your emotional, mental, and physical well-being a priority. Exercise, pastimes, socialising with encouraging friends and family, or private counseling are a few examples of this.”
She added, “If your partner is abusing you emotionally or physically, get help from family, friends, or support organisations. You might also want to think about getting advice from a therapist or lawyer on how to handle the matter in a safe manner.”
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